Shub-Internet

[MUD: from H. P. Lovecraft's evil fictional deity 'Shub-Niggurath', the Black Goat with a Thousand Young]

n. The harsh personification of the Internet, Beast of a Thousand Processes, Eater of Characters, Avatar of Line Noise, and Imp of Call Waiting; the hideous multi-tendriled entity formed of all the manifold connections of the net. A sect of MUDders worships Shub-Internet, sacrificing objects and praying for good connections. To no avail -- its purpose is malign and evil, and is the cause of all network slowdown. Often heard as in

"Freela casts a tac nuke at Shub-Internet for slowing her down."

A forged response often follows along the lines of:

"Shub-Internet gulps down the tac nuke and burps happily."

Also cursed by users of FTP and telnet when the system slows down. The dread name of Shub-Internet is seldom spoken aloud, as it is said that repeating it three times will cause the being to wake, deep within its lair beneath the Pentagon.